So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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