fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
