Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
