Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
