remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
