My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
