also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
