I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
