I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
