They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Holy shit dude........stairs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
