I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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