I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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