So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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