i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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