Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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