i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
