Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
