Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize