ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
