You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize