He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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