I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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