I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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