Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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