it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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