I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
