you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
