Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
