i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
