I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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