great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
