If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
