I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
