Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i came on her dog
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
