dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize