Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
