She's JV to your varsity
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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