do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
