At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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