there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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