i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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