i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
