Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i will never coherently bang her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize