dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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