yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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