I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
