Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
