It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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