Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
