That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Your cock deserves a montage
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
