In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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