ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
