Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
