Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
