Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
