Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
