The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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