You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
