Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
