New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
