Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
