i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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