what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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