dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
