oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
